Reading about Home Schooling vs. ACTUALLY Doing it.

Okay, I'll admit that I am a very imaginative person. Further, I'll admit that my fantasies have an overly optimistic bent. While this may sound nice, it is actually a shortcoming. As most of us know, when we imagine something is going to be beautiful, wonderful and perfect...and then it is not, we set ourselves up for disappointment.

In the beginning, I read every book on home schooling that I could get my hands on. I surfed the web. I talked to friends, family, and yes even strangers about my intentions. The books I read filled my mind with a fuzzy warm picture of home schooling. Ah yes, the kids and me cuddled together around the table learning, laughing, growing. All the kids would have their chores so our house would always be neat. My dearest husband would always be able to help out with the chores that I couldn't manage. The kids would simply love having me as their teacher in addition to being mom.

Reality check. While we do have days that are wonderful, often we don't. I've heard the dreadful words "I just don't like doing schoolwork." come out of my kids mouths. I've felt like I was going to lose my mind explaining some new math skill to my kids that seemed easy to me, but proved difficult and confusing for them. I've had to tenaciously clutch a history book tight to my chest to keep from using it as a weapon against smart mouths and rotten attitudes. And yes, I've gone in the bathroom, shut the door and cried.

Through it all, just when I'm ready to throw in the towel, the Lord always comes through and shows me a reason to keep at it. Or gives me some small bit of encouragement where I least expect it. Like a letter from one of the kids with a picture of them and me with hearts all over it. Or hearing my kids tell some of our family members that "Jesus is the way, the truth, and the Life..." all on their own. Things like that happen and suddenly I am renewed. I find myself back to that fuzzy optimism all over again.