Harsh Reminders

I love being a mother. I always knew I would become one eventually (though I never thought I'd have 4 before I turned 27!) As much as I love my job and feel blessed that I get to be here with my kids everyday and watch them grow and learn, I don't always appreciate how much they mean to me. I will be the first to admit that there are times that I fantasize about running off to a remote island. Sometimes we go on for days and I have not been very positive and loving. One day I told Lane "I love you" and he sulked and said "No you don't" I felt terrible because I knew why he was saying that. It was because all day long I'd done nothing but criticize and nag. Had I praised him at all that day? Had I taken him in my arms at all lately? No wonder he felt that way. I sat and explained to him that no matter what...no matter how grumpy I get or how tired or even when I have to punish him and the other kids....I always still love him. I love them all so much.
About a week ago our family suffered a tragedy. My husband's cousin and his wife lost their little newly 2 year old daughter in a driveway accident. I can not imagine how deep their sorrow goes over this loss, nor can I dare predict how long it will take to heal. I have been told so many times to appreciate my kids while they are little. So many times and I nod and agree and say of course. Yet, when something like this happens I can feel it. I can feel how delicate a thing life is. As fine as spider's thread. I think of all the labor, joy, love, and frustration that goes into raising a child and yet that child can be taken from you in an instant. Too easily. Too suddenly. We are promised nothing. The Lord has given me these kids on loan and they and everything else really belongs to Him. What a precious gift He has given me. Do I complain about my sleepless nights and messy house and all the sacrifices I make for these kids? Or should I take them and hold them close to me every moment I can. Just hold them even if they are sticky, even if they have not been perfect today, even if I'm tired and short tempered. No matter how careful and thoughtful a parent I am...well...it pains me to think of it.
Hold those babies. Even the bigs ones. Even the little ones. The Bible reminds us that children are a blessing. I only hate that it takes such a terrible tragedy to remind me of that. My prayer is that I will never forget it again. Pray for the Dahlen family, that they will have comfort and they they will be able to rest in the Lord.